5 Questions you need to be asking in life

The author of the book “Wait, WHAT?” book, James E. Ryan, spoke about how he never stop to ask questions in life. You need to be asking the right questions. Here are the 5 questions you need to be asking in life.

  1. Wait, … what?…
  2. I wonder .. why. I wonder … if
  3. Couldn’t we at least ….
  4. How can I help …
  5. What truly matters?

Bonus questions: Did you get what you want out of this life, even so?

Try asking some of this question in you day today, and see how it effect you in a positive way.

10 Steps to Building a successful Online Course

Here are the 10 steps to building a successful online courses.

  1. Transformation journey for your audience
  2. Brainstorm the content. Use Post-it 10 – 10 Break and 10 Brainstorm
  3. Organisation of the idea
  4. Outline and sharing the outline. Kill what is not necessary
  5. Pre-sell to 20 people, why?
  6. Build the Community, e.g.: FB Group
  7. Build the course, produce the lesson
  8. Collect feedback from student
  9. Refine the course to make it great
  10. Be Confident

7 Steps to be a good Coach

Here are the 7 steps on how to be a good coach. If you are coaching someone and you want to make sure they are going to get a good outcome and you also get something in return, here are the steps that you can use.

  1. Ask them what is on their mind
  2. Then ask them what else they have in their mind
  3. Ask what is the real challenge
  4. Ask them what do they think the problem is, and what do they look to achieve
  5. How can you help them
  6. What do you say “NO” to
  7. What is the most valuable/useful from the coaching session

I hope the above will help you to be a better Coach.

Original – part 2

In the old days, when people are digging up the coal mine, sometimes there are poisonous gas, and to know for sure they sent a canary to the mine, if it came back that means the are no poisonous gas. You need to be the canary in the coal mine.

Some of the philosphy of Ray Dalio the founder of the biggest investment firm Bridgewater are :

  • brings problem to be discussed
  • stop problem log
  • he setup baseball card with stats about his employee using 77 principles.

Listen like you are wrong and argue like you are right.

Interview your employee for ideas of improvement when they start and not when they leave.

You will need to activate the “Go” button, don’t have to do this yourself, but ask people impacted to deliver the message.


If you think that entrepreneurs are more risk averse compared to the rest of us, then think again. Most of them are not.

You will have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. The biggest idea comes from quantity, so get used to it.

Research had shown that if you spend 6 minutes on generating idea, it makes one to be better when doing an assessment.

On a separate research one group of people was asked to list 3 good things in their life, and the other group is asked to list 12 good things in their life, the group that was asked to list 12 things feels their life is bad, because it is much harder to list 12 things that are good, so their impression is that their life is bad. On the other hand if the question is turn around to list 12 things that are bad in their life, it makes them feel good about life because it is much harder to list the bad things, so their life wasn’t that bad.

Procrastination is the source of creativity, E.g.: Leonardo da Vinci didn’t finish the MonaLisa until later after he pause and learn about how light and shadow works.

Sometime you will need to wait until you are a bit sleepy for random ideas to pop in, the subconscious mind have much more creative idea than our conscious mind.

Use the mid point time to re-plan and re-discuss an idea.

In the world of entrepreneurs, pioneers have less chance of survival, while the settlers have much higher chance of success as the can learn from the mistake from the pioneers and make the corrections accordingly.

Be an experimental innovators, good things come to those who wait.

Captivate – Chapter 14 Engage, how to turn people on

The author explain about the science of popularity. It seems that popular people are more attuned to people’s popularity. Popular people makes us feel good.

You impress people by mentally turn on their reward system. The key to this is Attunement: When we attuned we are more aware of those around us. To achieve there are 2 action to take.

1.reciprocity effect, we like people who likes us, we give back what we received.

This whole book is built around this, to summarise :

  • hack #1 – social game plan, how to interact
  • hack #2 – triple threat, how to be confident and build trust
  • hack #3 – conversational spark: How to make others to respond in kind
  • hack #4 – highlighter: brings the best out of people
  • hack #5 – Thread theory:inspired people for a “me too” moment
  • hack #6 – Decoder: incentivise people
  • hack #7 – speed read : show how we like to be treated
  • hack #8 – appreciation language : How to appreciate others
  • hack #9 – primary value: respect other people’s values
  • hack #10 – story stack: How to trigger conversation with others
  • hack #11 – own it: empower others
  • hack #12 – Franklin effect : the more vulnerable we are the closer we can get to others
  • hack #13 – Nut job: How to be calm, direct communication
  • hack #14 – Attunement : pay more interest in someone

2. Belonging. We want to be valued, needed, understood, accepted for who we are. As a human being we have 5 basic needs : Physiological, safety, love belonging (having commonality), esteem ( meaningful conversational sparker), self actualisation (find primary value & help them realise it)

3. Curiosity. We can have our curiosity cured.

Captivate – Chapter 13 Protect, how to deal with difficult people

The aim of this chapter is to prevent good people become difficult people, and prevent difficult people becomes impossible. This is usually due to fear. The gremlins inside is makes us awkward, muddle up or charisma.

At high level there are 4 category of people based on fear :

  • Downers : always complain, pessimistic, fear of rejection
  • show off : this type always brag, fear of being forgotten
  • Passives: this type do not contribute, fear of criticism, always shut down
  • Tank: explosive type, bossy, overreact, fear out of control

Thus fear processing can be:

  • Low road: quick reaction, primitive, make us safe, protected and secure
  • High road : slow reaction, logical, good decision, protect our social interest.

So quite often we are being highjack by our low road because that is the one that react faster and this is how we had been wired, in order to control this we need to give a bit of time for our high road to kick in.

In order for us to handle other person’s fear we can use the hack called “The NUT job”, N for naming, U for understanding, and T for transform or facilitate resolution.

Captivate – Chapter 12 Reveal, How to built a long lasting relationship

From time to time we need to be vulnerable. When you share your secrets, and being vulnerable, this is the key to connect with people fast, this is called the vulnerability effect. Each of us is the centre of our universe. Vulnerability is attractive, mistake humanise us. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.

The author also explain about the Franklin effect. The Franklin effect is when you had done something for other people and you thank them, they are more likely to help you again, or do you a favour.

Captivate – Chapter 11 Empower

The author goes on explaining the importance to delegate a task, skill solicitation, use people skill to delegate task. It goes on explaining about the science of ownership, we value the things we built, this is explained through the “ikea effect”, this is because we see our creation as extension of ourselves.

If you are a leader in one area, you are a leader in other area.

We can motivate people by giving “buy in”, control and ownership. Figure out how to give them ownership.

We want to believe there are reasons to everything we do. This is the base of emotional “buy in”, use “because” and try to tie to as many emotional reasons as possible.

Captivate – Chapter 10 how to speak so others listen

The secret is to tell stories. When we tell stories we give other people a chance to say “me too”. When we listen to other people stories our brain actually sync up with other person. Story bonds the teller and listener.

The author go in to explain how we need to have a story stack, which have a trigger topic and followed by boomerang to get the story out of the other person.