Captivate – Chapter 14 Engage, how to turn people on

The author explain about the science of popularity. It seems that popular people are more attuned to people’s popularity. Popular people makes us feel good.

You impress people by mentally turn on their reward system. The key to this is Attunement: When we attuned we are more aware of those around us. To achieve there are 2 action to take.

1.reciprocity effect, we like people who likes us, we give back what we received.

This whole book is built around this, to summarise :

  • hack #1 – social game plan, how to interact
  • hack #2 – triple threat, how to be confident and build trust
  • hack #3 – conversational spark: How to make others to respond in kind
  • hack #4 – highlighter: brings the best out of people
  • hack #5 – Thread theory:inspired people for a “me too” moment
  • hack #6 – Decoder: incentivise people
  • hack #7 – speed read : show how we like to be treated
  • hack #8 – appreciation language : How to appreciate others
  • hack #9 – primary value: respect other people’s values
  • hack #10 – story stack: How to trigger conversation with others
  • hack #11 – own it: empower others
  • hack #12 – Franklin effect : the more vulnerable we are the closer we can get to others
  • hack #13 – Nut job: How to be calm, direct communication
  • hack #14 – Attunement : pay more interest in someone

2. Belonging. We want to be valued, needed, understood, accepted for who we are. As a human being we have 5 basic needs : Physiological, safety, love belonging (having commonality), esteem ( meaningful conversational sparker), self actualisation (find primary value & help them realise it)

3. Curiosity. We can have our curiosity cured.

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