Captivate – Chapter 13 Protect, how to deal with difficult people

The aim of this chapter is to prevent good people become difficult people, and prevent difficult people becomes impossible. This is usually due to fear. The gremlins inside is makes us awkward, muddle up or charisma.

At high level there are 4 category of people based on fear :

– Downers : always complain, pessimistic, fear of rejection

– show off : this type always brag, fear of being forgotten

– Passives: this type do not contribute, fear of criticism, always shut down

– Tank: explosive type, bossy, overreact, fear out of control

Thus fear processing can be:

– Low road: quick reaction, primitive, make us safe, protected and secure

– High road : slow reaction, logical, good decision, protect our social interest.

So quite often we are being highjack by our low road because that is the one that react faster and this is how we had been wired, in order to control this we need to give a bit of time for our high road to kick in.

In order for us to handle other person’s fear we can use the hack called “The NUT job”, N for naming, U for understanding, and T for transform or facilitate resolution.

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